SPAM: A 21st-Century Business Problem

After being repeatedly spammed with messages related to my clients' websites, I composed the following response to one spammed supposedly named "Fred":

Fred,
You’re starting to annoy me, and that’s surely not a good thing. I’ve unsubscribed from your emails, and yet you’re still sending me the same garbage. I have never, and will never, click your link because your “generosity” is undoubtedly insincere. Your website will either infect my computer with a virus, or you’ll end up trying to charge me for something. So, here’s the deal:

  1. You’re going to stop sending me any email immediately.
  2. You’ll delete my address from your system. Now.
  3. You’ll delete my address from your archives, too.
  4. I won’t report you to the FCC/FTC/FBI. (Probably.)

If you fail any of the first three steps above, this will happen:

  1. I will report you to the FCC/FTC/FBI.
  2. I will keep pushing the case, including through my contacts in Washington DC and law enforcement.
  3. Your operation will be shut down.
  4. You will pay fines.
  5. You will be left either a) despairingly hungry and homeless or b) in a cell with a hopefully irritable, delusional or exceedingly boring cellmate.
  6. I will be very happy every single day.

It’s your move. Think wisely. Don’t test Forward View Consulting.
No regards,

Nathan Yates, M.S.F.

My message was, of course, bounced from the spamming account. As a research analyst and web developer, though, I tracked down the email marketing service used by dear old Fred. I provided the marketing company with sufficient information to can this spammer, but I know that 100,000+ other Freds exist. I'm especially concerned because my clients have also received supposedly website-related "alerts" that range from gimmicky SEO services to downright digital robbery. Each website domain name registration I complete fires up the internet trolls all over again. Forward View's future client services will include helping clients to identify website-oriented scams/spam, and we'll also begin aggressively hunting the online trolls for reporting to the appropriate authorities. Don't mess with Forward View!

Nathan Yates

Forward View Consulting, 288 Crack Rock Road, Clintwood, VA 24228, USA

Nathan Yates has been fascinated by technology and finance since he was young. He was the kid devouring the business section of the newspaper (remember those?) while others read everything else. Nathan believes that the American economy is built from the bottom-up, meaning that small businesses and local nonprofits are the foundation of our nation's success. These organizations are the lifeblood of towns and cities across the U.S. Unfortunately, most consulting firms overlook companies or organizations that don't have eight-figure budgets. Nathan thought Forward View Consulting should be different. And we are. As Lead Consultant, Nathan works with each client to deliver only the best financial and/or website development services. Nathan's years of web design experience and his business degrees ensure that professional expertise is brought to each project. Our network of contacts can offer additional specialized guidance if needed. Before creating Forward View Consulting, Nathan worked for an independent equity research firm as a Research Associate covering the industrial and energy sectors. This work involved preparing quarterly 15-40 page reports on multi-billion dollar corporations along with timely analysis of M&A activity and industry-wide news. He also managed research distribution and the company's online presence. Nathan also spent a summer serving as a local financial adviser's Research Intern. Nathan earned a Bachelor's degree in Economics and Finance from Southern New Hampshire University, graduating summa cum laude. He then earned a Master's degree in Finance from Southern New Hampshire University, where he was named the Outstanding Student in his particular concentration. Now, Nathan is an adjunct professor teaching economics and finance for his alma mater. In his spare time, Nathan enjoys fishing, reading, time with family and serving as a volunteer webmaster for the Clintwood United Methodist Church.